6/5/14 evening Maryland post script:
I went to Starbucks and uploaded the photos for the last 3 states plus the MD post and photos. I was there a couple of hours and enjoyed my iced vanilla latte and fast internet. Tommy waited patiently in the truck for me, he hates being left behind in the trailer.

I prepped to leave tomorrow for Delaware. I just realized its a primitive site. OK, I’m ready. My generator works now, nice temps. This time it should be a piece of cake, right? And it is a super short haul, only 100 miles. Most of New England will be like this, the states are so much smaller.

Just not sure if I will get to them all right now. NJ is the next stop. My mom is doing poorly and in a nursing home in NJ and I need to be there to help support my sister who is taking care of all these major decisions alone. Mom has dementia or Alzheimers we think. She is delirious often. In unexplained pain often. She has a broken hip, a fribulating heart, kidney failure and multiple myaloma (a form of blood cancer). She is now in a nursing home. A few weeks ago she was living on her own in her townhouse in PA. We need to make ethical decisions. She has a living will and we must follow it. Her quality of life sucks right now, but can she be cured and have a better one eventually? Did you know nursing homes are over $100,000 a year now? We have a lot of work to do educating ourselves on so many aspects of this. I am guessing I will be there a month. But everything is such a wild guess at this point.

Judy said that since pmu foals are pulled off their mothers, they are like orphaned foals, no mom to teach them social skills. So its very important that you have to be the alpha with them. I think it was Jack that had said, WF needs to be put in my herd and taught how to be a horse by the other horses. A light bulb went off and I finally understood the contradiction that is Wildflower. At the beginning I thought she was the alpha of the baby herd, but then she hid behind Tiara all the time as if to use her as a shield against people which means she was afraid. She pushes Dreamy around constantly (I thought it was a starved issue) and Dreamy just complies, she had a good mom I am sure. And she was in a herd on the ranch as a youngster. She has impeccable manners. Frankie had said WF was being a bully to me. The bully mentality is complicated I know. It all makes sense now. Judy made it clear to me finally. It wasn’t the mistreatment, it was the orphaning. I need to read up on this issue. I have been babying her, poor Wildflower, when I should of been more in charge. I did the same thing with my children. Oh my God. That’s why I am here. I have tingles all thru my body. Something serious is happening to me. I’m going to go see my horses.

Before I go. Judy said: Play it forward. I want to give the money to Judy. What she has given to me is easily worth $400 (camping, board, 20 small bales of timothy, bit, leather one eared headstall and very nice long heavy split reins). And she need so much work done around here, fences are a wreck, so is the barn, there are so many animals to feed and vet…I wrote her a check and if she won’t take it I was going to put it in her horse donation bottle. How DO I play it forward? I know what that means but how do I DO it? Like the homeless woman in Memorial Park in Pasadena said to me: But what should I DO? Her words haunt me.

DO, its such a small word. Its meaning is enormous. Nike says Just DO it. But how. I’m going to see my mares now, maybe they can tell me.

Well, no they didn’t.

6/6/14
Lum’s Pond State Park, Bear, Deleware; state #27
It only took 3 hours to get here. There are 4 primitive horse sites with one water spigot. I set up the electric corral in one of the empty sites next to me and took off on a walk around the pond. The woman in the check in told me it was 8 miles, but it took us 4 hours so something is wrong. There is a hiker, biker trail closer to the water’s edge and maybe that is 8 miles. The horse trail is much longer I think. The footing is sometimes grassy, sometimes tiny gravel like stuff, sometimes dirt, all basically flat. There is some woods, some on the edge of farm fields, a short ways along a power line…Its very pretty. I only encountered 3 bikes in the whole time we were out, no one else. There is an equestrian center on the other side of the park with a large grass pasture, at least 20 horses in it, very pretty.

Emily texted me on my walk. After hearing that I will be in NJ for a month she asked if she could come visit. I said sure. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but it would be lovely.

I’m exhausted now.

As I approached my site I saw a young family had moved into the horse site across from me. No horses, 2 cars, 2 tents, 2 toddlers and a baby. The guy asked me to put Tommy on a leash when we were about 100’ away, ugh. I am trying to keep an open mind, but really, what are they doing in the horse area? The kids are crying, there is a lullaby music box playing non stop for the baby. And the road traffic noise is getting on my nerves too. The road must be very close. Maybe I’m just too tired.

The weather is perfect. It was a high of 72, sunny. Some mosquitos later in the walk, I found out why it is called “the swamp forest trail”. The trail for bikes has little bridges along it and some rocky branch offs for the mountain bikers. I was thinking the people who ride this think this is mountain biking? They should see the guys in Cherry Canyon where I used to live and ride. 2 young women rode by on horses, they live off the park. I told them they were lucky. They asked where I was from…

Nalla is sitting at the screen door looking out, probably wondering where all of Judy’s cats went, lol. The mares are staring off in the direction of the music box. Tommy is asleep under a tree, tied up. There is a fly buzzing around in the trailer and for some reason its 80 in here. The trailer is always warmer than outside late in the day. Guess I’ll fire up the generator and ac, make dinner, shower and go to bed.

A little later the mosquitos got nasty and so did WF. I had to put up the dividing wire in their corral she was such a b…. to Dreamy. She stomped rolled bit at herself and fussed for a long time. Guess the WIPE doesn’t last as long as I thought it did (or as the bottle says). I got eaten alive just going out to put up the wire. The baby in the car camping group is crying.

6/7/14
Well the poor baby finally stopped crying. The mosquitos were probably eating him alive poor baby. I slept good, got up, moved the corral to fresh grass, cancelled the rest of my June camp reservations, got a VERY accommodating response from my NJ “camp” which is actually a horse bed & breakfast, ate and ready to paint something. No rest day for the mares I think, it was such a short haul yesterday. I’ll pony this afternoon. I may leave here a day early then.

I will be staying in NJ for a month. The B&B is an hour from my mom & sister and has an electric hook up for the trailer. Kate there has offered to help me with the horses and dog. She has pasture for them too. All for $600 for the month (using my hay). This is a huge discount. All I can say is wow. And an inn where Rachel can stay when she comes if she doesn’t want to stay in the trailer with me (she is not the roughing it type).

A month at least. Everything is on hold. I hope I can still finish by winter and find a place to settle down.

DELEWARE PHOTOS: